


countdown

by SilverMoonT



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Time Skip, Third Year Ennoshita Chikara, Third Year Futakuchi Kenji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26988910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMoonT/pseuds/SilverMoonT
Summary: "So you like someone."Futakuchi bites his lower lip and nods, "Yes.""Do I know them?" Ennoshita asks him.Futakuchi wants to scream. 'It's you! You know yourself!' He wants to say, but he can’t.Or maybe he can.
Relationships: Ennoshita Chikara/Futakuchi Kenji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	countdown

**Author's Note:**

  * For [futacookies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/futacookies/gifts).



> Happy Birthday Fede❤

Futakuchi again turns his head to rest his gaze on the empty futon next to him. Five, six, seven times, if he keeps passing the minutes without staying still, his neck will start to ache from all the unnecessary movement and he will only get the image of an empty futon to stay imprinted on his mind.

He picks up his phone from his chest and his eyes squint as the screen lights up his face. It's six in the morning and for the same reason he should be sleeping, just as Yahaba and Shirabu are doing since the former is sleeping in the only couch in the living room while Shirabu is comfortably under his own blankets, in another of the futons. All the lights are off and the birds haven't even started singing yet.

He should be sleeping. Ennoshita too. But he has his eyes open, and Ennoshita is not by his side because he doesn’t know how many minutes ago, he has gotten up trying to make the least noise possible to go to Yahaba's kitchen and not come back.

Futakuchi has three theories.

  1. Ennoshita fell asleep on the kitchen floor or somewhere from the living room to the kitchen, but he knows that unlike him, Ennoshita is not able to fall asleep in the middle of the hallway and wouldn’t hesitate to settle back in his futon in case sleep finally embraces him.
  2. Ennoshita decided to leave Yahaba's house at almost six in the morning because he is good at hiding but in reality both he and Yahaba and Shirabu managed to tire him with the variety of their personalities, or he decided to go for a walk and so get tired to then go back to sleep.
  3. Ennoshita just stayed in the kitchen eating.



Futakuchi wants to believe that the third option is the correct one.

He sits down on the futon before putting his phone aside. He rubs his eyes, the brown of his gaze finding itself fully awake even though his muscles are tired. His heart bounces against his chest and he knows that it’s not because he has simply stopped lying down, but because sitting down implies that he is willing to look for Ennoshita, which also shows that therefore perhaps he is ready to have a certain conversation which results can be considered the cause of his inability to sleep.

He feels that his body has a personal clock, where the needles keep moving no matter what kind of feelings are those in racing his heart. He no longer remembers since when he feels the way he does, since when he believes that he is carrying out a countdown. He is running out of time because his feelings keep on growing and so his heartbeat keeps on speeding. Hours, minutes, seconds.

An exhausted sigh makes its way past his lips and he decides to get up. He can always have a conversation of another kind in case of deciding to back down at the last moment. But the reality is, backing down from what? His problem is that he never plans, life just passes in front of his eyes and he accepts it. He agrees with the moments that it proposes and therefore doesn’t decide to spend his time planning. Months, weeks, days. Time loses its true meaning.

He makes as little noise as possible so as not to wake up Shirabu and Yahaba since a small part of him cares about them (and because if Yahaba and Shirabu fighting each other makes him laugh, Yahaba and Shirabu as allies is a scary concept, and much more if it’s because he hasn’t let them sleep). He heads to the kitchen, a smile quickly appearing on his face when once he walks through the door, he finds Ennoshita sitting on the counter of it. He walks up to him and Ennoshita looks at him when he appears within his field of vision.

With one hand holding a bowl full of cherries and with the fingers of his other hand holding a cherry which stem seems to have already been taken away, Ennoshita stops swinging his legs because of the happiness that eating cherries brings him, and licks his lips when he looks at him.

"You caught me."

Futakuchi laughs upon hearing him and approaches him.

"You couldn’t sleep?" He asks, knowing the answer.

"No." Ennoshita shakes his head. "You know I can’t sleep."

Ennoshita offers him the bowl and Futakuchi knows, he is fully aware, that taking a cherry out of it is enough, but instead of doing that, he chooses to hold the bowl. Their fingers brush, Ennoshita doesn't let go of it, and he picks up a cherry to find forgotten stems within it. For a moment, he thinks he can consider that instant a victory, because he doesn’t plan, but he is not a saint either. He finally takes one of the cherries and Ennoshita looks at him when he chooses to stay in front of him, finally letting go of holding the bowl so that he can remove the stem from the cherry and leave it in the bowl.

"Yes, I know, because you talk to me at three in the morning sometimes."

Ennoshita eats the cherry he has been holding all that time as he lets a guilty smile play on his face. "And if you can sleep, then what are you doing here?" He asks him, getting Futakuchi to laugh before answering because he sticks his tongue out to allow the cherry pit to fall into the other bowl that remains next to him on the counter.

"Strangely, I couldn't sleep either." He says, earning Ennoshita to look at him with both eyebrows raised as his words turn out to be a strangeness.

"Why?"

Ennoshita hands him the other bowl so that he can leave the seed but again Futakuchi chooses to take the same one and keep that one in his hands to then, with the help of his thumb and index finger, take the seed that stays on the tip of his tongue in order to leave it the bowl. And maybe, just maybe, he decides to accept sincerity as the sudden company of his answer because he believes that if he constantly seeks to establish physical contact with Ennoshita, then he believes that his personal clock is finally running out of battery.

"I need your help with something."

Ennoshita stands with a new cherry an inch from his mouth when he listens to him. "My help?" He asks, confused. "And why not Yahaba or Shirabu?"

Futakuchi wants to answer that he can only talk to him since the subject involves him, but the reality is that he is not yet fully prepared to express those words, so, "Do you really expect me to ask them for help?"

"Good point. What's going on?"

Ennoshita holds a wide smile on his face after tasting the sweet flavor of the cherry, and Futakuchi decorates his face with a lopsided smile because he thinks Ennoshita smiling is a sight he doesn't want to stop counting with. He's nervous, he's completely nervous, and maybe, he is also keeping his hand around the bowl to keep his fingers from shaking. The Iron Wall reputation seems ironic now with how restless he feels. But this is his reality when he is with Ennoshita, a calm presence that invokes strong feelings.

"I'm planning on confessing to someone."

The expression on Ennoshita's face changes and Futakuchi avoids frowning in confusion when he glimpses that the genuineness of his smile is replaced by a smiling gesture that he knows, it’s not a true smile.

"Oh," He says. Futakuchi offers him the bowl to leave the seed but Ennoshita opts to leave it on his hand to then rest in it the bowl. "Well, I think that in this case it would be convenient for you to talk to Yahaba and Shirabu, after all they have a boyfriend while I don't, so."

"No, I like talking to you."

"Okay." A soft laugh leaves Ennoshita's lips as he chooses to leave the bowl next to him. "I didn't know you like someone."

Futakuchi hums in order to give himself a few seconds to think about his next words, as he is finally transforming into a reality the conversation with which he has thought about many times. He is not being completely sincere, but the phrases that leave his mouth are not lies either.

"I just don't know exactly if this person likes me, so I'm very subtle about it."

"I think you shouldn't, surely that person will reciprocate your feelings."

Futakuchi doesn't want to be hopeful but he doesn't want to feel hopeless either.

"Really?" He asks him, "And why are you so sure?"

"Well, you can be very loud sometimes, and quite pushy if you ask me."

"Hey." A slight pout decorates Futakuchi's face.

Ennoshita laughs at the sight of him. "But you're a good person." He adds, "You listen, and you're a good... friend." Futakuchi would be totally devastated at the mention of that word if he weren't distracted with Ennoshita's eyes on him. "And why do you want to talk to me about it?"

"How would you like to be confessed to?" He asks, instead.

"My opinion shouldn't matter here, don't you think?"

"Just to have an opinion."

Opinion, the most important opinion. The only opinion that matters, actually.

"Well..." Ennoshita looks around them, seeming to be searching for the right words. "In my case I think I would like something not too exaggerated..." What it seems to be a somewhat sad smile takes over his face and Futakuchi wishes he could know what he is thinking, because although Ennoshita shows his feelings without hesitation, many other times he ends up being an enigma, perhaps without even trying to be. "Calm? Nothing very big. I don't know... When the girls approach me, I feel bad for saying no."

Futakuchi decorates his face with an entertaining smile. "Chikara, are you a heartbreaker?" He knows he can answer his own question with affirmative words. "Oh?" Ennoshita rolls his eyes upon hearing him while Futakuchi continues to hold his typical gesture. "Why do you say no?"

"Stop it. They come to offer me things and Narita laughs at me. He says it's because of my air of captain, but I always try to say that no, I'm busy."

Futakuchi leaves the bowl to cross his arms and ask, "Are you maybe interested in someone else?"

"Maybe."

"Oh."

Futakuchi blinks.

Who is it?

Who is the person that gets Ennoshita to watch them? Is there someone who makes him happy? And it's not him. Futakuchi bites his bottom lip.

"I never say it because if I do, the girls will start looking."

"And will they find something? Someone?" Fukuchi asks him. "I mean, do you like someone from Karasuno?"

Someone from the volleyball team?

Ennoshita throws his head back and then looks at him. "We were talking about you, Kenji, not me."

Futakuchi makes a gesture with his hand that indicates that he is dismissing his words and Ennoshita lets out a sigh because he knows that Futakuchi can be insistent. Quite pushy, as he had said.

"Please, tell me more, I want to be able to tell Yahaba that surely someone else, in this case, you, receives more gifts than him."

Ennoshita replaces the seriousness on his face with a small smile. "I doubt it but... nothing, that's it. I don’t answer." He adds before shrugging.

"Well, I get a lot of letters and things too, of course I do."

Futakuchi holds chin up and puffs out his chest so that his true feelings are temporarily packed by a trace of egotism that at that moment accompanies his words. He is certainly courageous when he hears Ennoshita laugh upon seeing him.

"But not from the person you want to confess to?"

Ennoshita, with just a couple of words, gets him back to his original position. He leaves his eyes on the kitchen floor and holds a sideways smile, slightly sad when his head shows him a letter with Ennoshita's neat handwriting, since they don’t attend the same school and therefore that fact can’t be transformed into a reality. He does receive some letters as well as some chocolates, but not from the person he wants, he likes.

"No, unfortunately."

"Maybe they are shy." Ennoshita suggests.

Futakuchi thinks that Ennoshita is not the most extrovert or outgoing person he knows, nor is he the most introverted. He is not a fan of big gatherings but he doesn’t refuse when it comes accepting a meeting proposed by Yahaba in order to stay reading. He will accept or not a plan depending on how busy he is, in the same way that he will go to the cinema to watch movies or choose to lie in bed watching them depending on the energy of his mind and body. He doesn't think Ennoshita is a shy person, but he's not the loudest either. He wonders if he likes him because he can't define him.

After all, Ennoshita Chikara breaks all his rules.

"I don’t know."

"And you have liked them for a long time?" Ennoshita asks him.

He may not know what kind of person Ennoshita is, but he does know that despite not being able to define him, he likes him. "Yeah, honestly." He admits. "But I'm scared."

Futakuchi looks up when Ennoshita watches him, surprise decorating his face. "Is Futakuchi Kenji scared?" He asks, and Futakuchi can only hold a lopsided smile because Ennoshita has no idea how scared he is. "That’s new."

"I just don't want to lose that person."

That is his reality. He doesn't want to lose Ennoshita. He doesn't want the captains meetings to become awkward just because he hasn't been able to keep his mouth shut and so now Ennoshita doesn't want to be around him. He doesn’t want Ennoshita to not want to be near him, quite the opposite, and for the moment, it seems that to achieve that, he must repress his feelings, or at least let them leave his body little by little, in the form of a conversation as sincere as it’s false that at that moment continues to take place with forgotten cherries in the middle.

"Then you are close to them."

Futakuchi bites his lower lip. "Yes...? I want to believe that."

They are close, right? Ennoshita didn't kick him out when he saw him.

"Do I know them?"

The limits of dangerous terrain are being brushed against.

"Yes...?"

Ennoshita hums, "Wow, I really never noticed."

Futakuchi wants to scream. _It's you! You know yourself!_ But he can’t.

He can, but he doesn't want to. He wants, actually. He wants to? He’s confused.

"Do I know the person that you like?" He asks him.

Is it wrong to keep thinking about Ennoshita when he mentioned that he likes someone? Perhaps by confessing what he feels, Ennoshita could think of him differently. Or maybe it’s necessary for him to confess his feelings so that both of them can move on, because he can move on, see Ennoshita being happy with someone else, right? Does that person know that cherries are to his liking? He doesn't want Ennoshita to go on a date just to end up with someone that doesn’t like cherries.

"...Yes."

Who?

"Really?"

"...Yes."

What does that person have that he doesn't?

"Then you're also subtle about it."

Ennoshita wrinkles his nose upon hearing him. "It's just like you, I don't want to lose the person, but I think my feelings are secondary, I'll prioritize our friendship. They mean a lot to me so."

"Do you think I should do the same?"

A sigh is what leaves Ennoshita's lips. "I don't know what to tell you, Kenji. Suppressing feelings is hard and awful." He says, and Futakuchi thinks that despite his own pain, the person that Ennoshita likes better turn his feelings into something mutual because he doesn’t like the expression of frustration that decorates Ennoshita's face. "There comes a time when they hurt, don't you think? Pretending that the pain doesn't exist."

"Yes..."

Pretending that it doesn’t hurt, hurts. It hurts a lot because wanting to scream and not being able to do so is holding on to tell the truth, it’s staying with words in his mouth and not having the chance to be sincere. Not telling the truth is a painful action because there is no other option.

"Wow, I can't believe that the two of us end up being the ones sulking while Shirabu and Yahaba have a boyfriend." Ennoshita comments along with a laugh, but Futakuchi can only hold a small smile because he wants to tell him that they could have what they have.

"What you said to me also goes for you." He opts to tell him since he still doesn't dare to express the whole truth. "I think anyone would be foolish to reject you."

"Maybe they reject me because they are interested in someone else."

"Well, they're a fool because they don't know what they're missing," Futakuchi assures him. "Won't you confess?"

Ennoshita remains silent for a few seconds and then responds. "I don't think so, but you should," He says, still looking at him. "It’s liberating. If they say yes, I’ll be the single friend of the group, and if they say no, Yahaba, Shirabu and I will be there to cheer you up."

He just mentioned that he will be there for him.

Futakuchi bites his lower lip, his arms still crossed. He has stopped being in his futon because he hasn’t been able to sleep. Ennoshita is the reason for his lack of sleep, either by texting him when it’s late as Ennoshita is unable to sleep, or when he simply finds himself staring at the ceiling of his room, thinking that with each passing day, not telling the truth costs more, and therefore, hurts more.

What if the person Ennoshita likes doesn't know that he can't sleep at night? How much does that person know about Ennoshita? He knows a lot. He knows that he loves movies but that he is no longer interested in being a film director. He knows that although his team often drives him crazy because just as they are great volleyball players, they are also intense and noisy, Ennoshita loves each of the people who make up his team. He knows that he can't sleep at night no matter how tired he is, and that he likes ice cream as much as cherries.

"Do you promise you'll be there for me?" Futakuchi asks him.

If he knows so much about Ennoshita, maybe it's time for Ennoshita to know so much about him too.

Ennoshita gives him a small smile. "Yes."

His fingertips sink into his arms and his heart pounds.

"No matter what happens?"

"Yes."

"Do you really promise me?"

"Yes." Ennoshita tilts his head. "You're weird... I know this person, right?" He asks, looking at him. "Can I know their name? Maybe I could help you think about what you can do." He suggests. "Tell me their name."

Futakuchi looks at him and Ennoshita holds his typical smile on his face.

He no longer wonders why Ennoshita, why he likes him and not someone else. He likes him because Ennoshita is sincere and walks with his heart in hand. If he's happy, he smiles, if he's sad, he cries, if he's angry, a frown is evident on his face. He is honest and a person you know you can trust, as well as someone who with just one look makes you stay serious because his smile is nice but the black of his eyes is severe. Is it selfish to want to confess how he feels? Shouldn't he consider himself nice for falling in love with all the details that are part of Ennoshita?

A name is what Ennoshita has asked for.

Ennoshita keeps looking at him, attentive, and Futakuchi thinks that if Ennoshita is a sincere person who doesn’t break his promises under any kind of circumstance, then he must trust him because he has promised that he will be there for him no matter what happens.

He licks his lips and no longer feels like he can escape, "Chikara."

"Yes?"

"That’s your name."

"Yes, so? Wh—" Ennoshita stops himself but he never stops looking at him, so Futakuchi observes the way in which his lips remain parted to allow an expression of surprise to take over his face, because Ennoshita is intelligent and knows how to reach his own conclusions quickly. He sees how he looks at him, then around them, and then at the counter on which he is sitting. He looks up again, and his eyebrows go up. "Wait." He says, although at no point has Futakuchi moved. "What? You are kidding me."

"No." Futakuchi manages to say without knowing how because that syllable leaves his mouth with a trembling tone of voice. "And I'm dying of nerves right now but you just promised me that you will be there for me and I really don't want to lose you so I just want to tell you that if you managed to get me, Futakuchi Kenji, to confess how I feel about you then surely the person you like will reciprocate your feelings because you are amazing and—"

His words are silenced with soft lips resting on his and his heart doesn’t calm down, it accelerates because Ennoshita has cut the distance between them so that a kiss is that between them instead of a conversation surrounded by feelings, because he has approached him to rest his hands on his cheeks and make one of the many images in his head finally come true. And just as it happens, it quickly ends. But Futakuchi takes a few seconds to open his eyes because he is afraid that once he opens them, his head will make him realize that all that time he has been dreaming, but a dream is not what he finds once his eyelids stop brushing, since Ennoshita is still in front of him.

"I didn't expect that," He whispers, "Are you practicing for the person you like?"

"Kenji." Ennoshita murmurs over his lips.

"Yes?"

Ennoshita smiles and Futakuchi can't stop looking at that smiling gesture.

"That's the name of the person I like."

"Oh. Well that will be awkward because you will have to specify when we are talking about me or wh—"

"Futakuchi Kenji."

Futakuchi blinks several times upon hearing his full name and finally his brain seems to understand the reality of the situation as he straightens up and blinks again several times. Ennoshita laughs and Futakuchi really hopes, he begs, that he is not dreaming. "Please tell me you don't know another Futakuchi Kenji."

"Oh, yes," Ennoshita begins to say with total sarcasm. "He's from France but he moved here a few years ago, he's a year older than us, he lives in a mansion and you've never seen him because—"

On that occasion, Futakuchi is the one to interrupt his sentence after resting his hands on the back of Ennoshita's neck and leaning over, again having the opportunity to confirm that kissing Ennoshita is what he wants to continue doing. Ennoshita smiles in the middle of the kiss and Futakuchi believes that having chosen to leave his futon to appear in the kitchen is the best decision he has made.

"You didn't want to confess," Is the first thing Futakuchi says once they stay apart. "You wanted me to confess to the other supposed person."

"You told me to go with my other supposed person." Ennoshita reminds him.

Futakuchi shakes his head. "No, please don't."

Ennoshita shows his that he doesn’t intend to do so by wrapping his arms around his neck, as well as allowing Futakuchi to rest his hands on his waist. Futakuchi thinks he's already totally lost the instant Ennoshita bites his lower lip and smiles before asking, "Do you like me?"

"Yes." Futakuchi answers immediately, without hesitation, without doubt. "Wow, how good it feels to say that." The size of the smile on his face, Ennoshita's arms around his neck, his hands on his waist, their bodies being close. He believes that instead of having a countdown for his end after believing that Ennoshita would break the friendship between them, he should start counting all the time that they will continue to spend together, now, as more than friends.

"I like you too." Ennoshita assures him. "It feels good... saying it."

Feelings being reciprocated and emotions of equal intensity meeting.

"I never realized." Futakuchi expresses to make it clear that otherwise he wouldn’t have allowed fear to hold him back, he wouldn’t have hesitated to speak quickly when confessing his feelings.

"We are a bit dumb, don't you think so?"

"Yeah." Their laughter mingles. "A lot. You like me. Wow. I can't explain to you all the times that Aone has had to listen to me complaining because I didn't know what to do." All the conversations he had with his teammate, or rather all the times Aone had heard him speak, over and over about the boy who at that moment lets out a little chuckle because he understands perfectly how he feels.

"My friends are already tired of me."

Futakuchi narrows his eyes. "Yahaba and Shirabu..."

Ennoshita wrinkles his nose. "They probably didn't want to interfere."

It’s true that many times the four of them generate nothing but chaos while other times they only choose to get together because they need each other, but it’s also true that they know what the limits are, and if Yahaba and Shirabu have chosen to remain in silence so that they themselves could be able to express what they feel for each other, then they are grateful.

"I'm really sorry for that dumb confession."

Ennoshita shakes his head upon hearing him. "I told you, I imagined a calm confession. Well... it wasn’t calm, I was not calm, my heart was about to leave my chest." A genuine laugh caresses his lips and Futakuchi can only smile because Ennoshita's gaze is sleepy but apparently neither his heart nor his plan to stay quiet. "But it was between the two of us, it was quiet."

"So..." Futakuchi raises both eyebrows repeatedly. "Does that mean I can take you on a date?"

"I'll think about it," Ennoshita laughs.

"Chikara." Futakuchi pouts.

Ennoshita continues to laugh because his childish attitude is one of the reasons why he has certainly rested both his eyes and his attention on him and not someone else. "Yes, yes," He assures him. "Of course."

Futakuchi's face is decorated with an immediate smile as soon as he hears him.

"Karasuno will be our meeting place so those girls find out who you're dating."

"Well, I guess I'll have to go to Dateko then."

Futakuchi again rests his lips on his for a moment because what he needs is not a declared love letter on his desk, but to leave the building of his school to find Ennoshita at the gates, waiting for him with his sleepy gaze and his gentle smile. He doesn’t need a box of chocolates, but cherries eaten near dawn, when his heartbeat is strong enough to contradict the tranquility that that hour offers.

"Does this mean there will be more kisses?" Futakuchi asks him.

"Yes."

"Hey, you didn't say you'll think about it. Chikara you only like me for my kisses."

Ennoshita laughs before drawing him closer to him so that their lips can stay an inch apart. "No, I like you because you make me smile and laugh easily," He says, even if for the last few minutes he has been making those same words evident. "And you entertain me but you also give me peace of mind. You are always accompanying me and I like to be with you."

Be it with Yahaba and Shirabu, seeking to create their own moments alone, or when their schools face each other to play practice matches and they don’t hesitate to take advantage of being the captains of their teams to dedicate exchange some words, in some way or another their looks always end up looking for each other, and fortunately, finding each other too.

"I also like being with you."

Futakuchi smiles because Ennoshita does upon listening to him.

Ennoshita chooses to move one of his arms to leave his hand on his cheek, and Futakuchi leans into the contact, thinking that he can get used to this very quickly. And the reality is, that just as Ennoshita can perhaps be considered one of the kindest people, he can also be described as the bearer of one of the most indecipherable personalities, since he accompanies the gentleness of his smile with a twist of personality. "You know, I think we should kiss until Yahaba and Shirabu wake up and see us like this."

Futakuchi raises both eyebrows upon hearing him. "We don't know when they'll wake up."

An intriguing smile decorates Ennoshita's face.

"Well, then we must kiss until they do."

Futakuchi finishes wrapping his arms around his waist and thinks that all that time he has found himself in the uncertain for thinking that once he confessed what he feels, his heart would calm down, since at that moment, with Ennoshita in his arms, looking at him and giving him his best smile, he believes that he will have to get used to feeling that his heartbeat will always threaten to bounce against his chest.

"Oh Chikara, you were, you are, and you will be, my end."


End file.
